loudnoises: (what if he lived to be older and cute)
aaron gayger (eren yeager) ([personal profile] loudnoises) wrote in [community profile] procellous2014-02-23 01:07 am

you win, you live. you lose, you die.


battle royale au
call me out! muselist here, though i've only got journals for the upper guys ( + mikasa).
unburdens: (who does he think he is???)

are you sick of me yet though

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
( armin's one of the lucky ones. he gets a gun in his pack. not that he's ever held one in his entire life, but it sits there in his hands and he knows that it's lethal. the collar around his neck is too tight, it pinches at his skin as an ever-present reminder of the death hanging over their hands. the rules are clear. he's already memorized them. only one of them is allowed to walk out of this.

he keeps wanting to pinch himself to make sure that this isn't some fucked up dream. he's also thinking about some of their classmates -- reiner, taller and stronger than just about anyone he knows, annie who seemed to know about sixty forms of martial arts. armin has a gun, but he doesn't know how to use it. the thing is wasted on him.

this is a very rational decision. it's the best way to maximize eren's survival rate. his best friend is strong and determined, and armin doubts that they've handed out very many guns when the point is to watch them tear each other apart. it'll give him an advantage. he slides the thing over and tries not to shake, because he has to keep it together long enough to convince eren that he's alright.

but it was just supposed to be a field trip. and his parents are probably worrying and he never got to say goodbye to his grandfather and it's probably going to hurt a lot when he dies but he's not going to be a coward about it and he's definitely not going to cry. right? )


Here. Take this.

( don't fight him on this, eren. just take the gun, and win. and get out of here. )
unburdens: (he's just flopping them left and right)

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
( he's thinking about how he's going to do it. walk into one of the restricted areas, maybe. his collar will explode. it'll be quick, at least. shooting himself with the gun -- but then, that's one less bullet that eren can't use, so that's out of the question. besides, armin is thinking about mikasa, too. and how she'll feel if eren doesn't return to her. maybe he can do something other than be a burden, this one time.

armin is grabbing eren's hand, curling it around the gun, pushing it towards him. he hasn't even put the clip in yet, though it doesn't look too complicated to do. which is a relief, because he's pretty sure neither of them have ever seen a gun up close. )


Only one of us is allowed to live. And it has to be you.

( it has to be. armin's convictions are strong, but he's still beginning to cry and he hates himself for it because he's afraid to die. and because he and eren said they would travel the world someday after high school. hadn't they saved up all of their money? they were going to go to america, or maybe somewhere else, anywhere in the world. it didn't really matter. they were going to be the freest men on earth.

he's got to do it right now, before his courage fails. he can go find a restricted area. he's got a map that he clutches tightly in his hands. he'll leave the food and water rations behind so eren can use them and everything will be alright.

he wonders how much an exploding collar hurts. )
unburdens: (WHAT A FUCKIN ASSHOLE)

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Eren --

( they're listening. they have to be listening in. that's what they were told, right? the collars come equipped with microphones and tracking devices. any attempt to escape would set them off. the rules were laid out at the beginning, and they're so very clear.

armin isn't a soldier in this world, either. he isn't a tactician. he hasn't grown up with the threat of death and violence over his head. he's the kid who spends a lot of free time in the library, soft and easily knocked around by school bullies. sixteen years old is surely too young to die, but the world is cruel, isn't it? armin hadn't learned that yet, but he's certainly learning it right now.

so if they're listening, what if eren's rebellious words get his collar detonated? he can't stand that thought. more than keeping eren alive, he has to stop his best friend from getting himself killed. )( this time, he looks up at him, looks him straight in the eye through his tears so that his friend knows exactly how determined he is. )
Stop. You can't talk like that, they're listening. Please.

( please don't die. please. he might be a smart kid in this world too, but armin's fear is getting better of him. he can't think of a plan to get them out of this, that was never an option, was it? he jerks himself out of eren's grip, rises unsteadily to his feet, gripping the map tightly in his hand.

the kid they killed in the classroom looked like he was in pain. he certainly screamed like it, cried for his mother. armin's heartbeat is a steady thump, thump that reminds him that he's still alive for now. )


Just live, okay? Live, and win. And tell my parents that I'm sorry.
unburdens: (look at her butt)

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
( eren is going to survive this if it's the last thing that armin does, and as far as he knows, it probably will be. because he doesn't know if his friend could kill people, he knows that he's strong, and that's more than armin has to offer. he's always been spindly, too lanky to be any sort of help in the fights that they used to get into. well, most of the time he used to refuse to fight, but he remembers one time he'd lost his temper and tried to punch back. he'd only ended up hurting his own hand, and the boys had laughed in his face. and if he can't even throw a decent punch, he's not sure he could ever fight someone and win.

but see, that's the thing about eren. he makes you want to believe in yourself, it's a talent. maybe it's just that dogged determination, pig-headed until the very end. and for a minute, armin actually believes that they might be able to survive this.

and then the what-ifs start creeping in: what if it's only the two of them, he won't make eren have to kill him. he won't leave that stain on his friend's conscience. )


Eren. Stop talking for a minute--

( okay, fine. fine. he just needs to think, he needs to stop crying. armin rubs at his eyes roughly, swiping the tears away as he takes harsh breaths. okay, think. how do people act? who is their biggest threat? it's only been about half an hour, hasn't it? everyone else is probably regrouping too. trying to decide what to do. finding hiding places. they should have another half hour before people actually start attacking them in earnest, at least.

and twenty-four hours until all their collars detonate, if someone doesn't die. but the question then becomes... )


Our classmates are going to start attacking us soon. Some of them won't be able to do it, but they're afraid. And they want to live. And some of them have been terrorizing people weaker than them for years...

( he's talking of course, about his bullies. but as much as armin loathes them, he doesn't want them dead. of course he doesn't! )

...I don't know if I could actually kill another human being, Eren.
unburdens: (my whole family's dead you asshole)

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
( armin's hands shake as he tries to insert the clip into the gun -- they shake so badly that it's difficult even though it shouldn't be. it's a handgun, after all. and they must have picked something simpler and more user-friendly for this experiment, to make it easier for them to kill each other. the clip slides in with a sound that sickens him. how many shots do they have in a gun like this? eight, maybe? ten at most. they'll have to conserve their shots.

he might be afraid, but he's also not naive enough to buy eren's rambling about how they can get through this without killing anyone. he's trying to rationalize it in his head. maybe it's easier to be utilitarian about such things, if the ultimate goal is eren's survival.

such thoughts are philosophical and less relevant when their first classmate appears, his chief bully, the leader of the pack. tall and strong and unhesitant when it comes to killing the both of them, armin can see it in his eyes. there's intent there.

the boy has an axe. he advances. armin's thoughts are a buzz in his head, his reflexes are gone, his mind is screaming at him to move but the muscles won't obey, and the gun is caught in his shaking hands. )
unburdens: (turning into a FUCKING TITAN)

NU WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME OH MY GOD.

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
( it all seems to happen so fast that he's not sure what's going on. all he knows is the screams and the stench of blood and in the blink of an eye, eren has become a murderer. he watches the knife sink into the other boy's gut almost in slow-motion, and the sickening squelching noise of it being pulled out of him, blood flying everywhere. there's so much blood, he's never seen so much blood in his life, he's going to puke --

but there's another boy, and armin recognizes him too. a boy with blood on his sleeves, and blood on the knife that's in his hands. it glints in the low afternoon sun. his voice gets caught in his throat. he wants to say, please don't do this but there are shards of glass in his throat and he can't speak, nausea riling him up.

eren is a murderer. eren's knife just slid into that boy. eren just murdered his childhood bully. eren just killed a man in front of him. his best friend. they used to pore over maps and travel books in his room, but the only thing armin can see right now is blood.

blood on that knife. the one that the second boy is raising to throw at his best friend and it's entirely on panicked instinct that armin raises the gun.

he meant to aim for the boy's leg, he swears. but his hands are shaking too badly, and instead of missing entirely like it should have, the bullet buries itself in the boy's chest in the very definition of a freak accident. beginner's luck. armin hears the sickening crunch of bones breaking, and the gun recoils in his hands with enough force that he actually drops it - though maybe that's more from shock than anything else.

and if he's started crying again, he doesn't even notice for the time being. )
Edited (I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW GUNS WORK AT ALL i had to google things........) 2014-02-23 22:39 (UTC)
unburdens: (it's so big)

YOU HAVE NO PROOF OF THAT

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-23 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry --

( it's the first thing out of his mouth, and the words feel clumsy to him all of a sudden. armin's always been good with words, but right now his voice is all mixed up with phlegm and tears and the sudden rise of bile in his throat. he can hear the boy he shot gurgling on the blood welling up in his chest, maybe he's trying to say something, but armin can't understand what it is. what are the last thoughts of a dying sixteen year old? what is he wasting his last breaths to convey?

this is so surreal. it has to be a dream. he's entirely frozen in place, paralyzed in rising horror when he notices the blood that eren's almost covered with, that acrid metallic scent filling the air. but eren's right. they do have to move, and he's being a burden again, he's being dead weight --

don't be useless is the thought that snaps armin out of it, finally. his breaths are deep and shuddering, but he tastes blood on his tongue and wonders if he's bitten it somewhere down the line. he scoops up the gun, chest heaving, fighting down the urge to vomit. )


Okay, where...

( he hears rustling somewhere in the distance. armin grabs eren's hand and tries not to think about how it's slippery with blood. he just runs. he leaves the dying boy's noises in the distance. his legs feel like jelly, but he can run if it means keeping eren safe.

but then again, maybe eren isn't the one that needs protecting. )
unburdens: (she looks like one of those)

i'm 100% innocent here

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-24 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
( think. think, think think. he has to catch his breath. he has to compose himself. if keeping eren alive was the goal, then he's going to have to get over this paralysis of his. and armin is determined, his will making up for the strength he never had. eren tries to wipe the blood off himself, but armin stands there stock-still. thinking about things in terms of strategy helps him forget that he's a murderer, but the sound of blood gurgling from that boy's throat will haunt his nightmares for as long as he's alive.

which won't be for very long. perhaps that's a mercy. he won't have to live with the things he's done. eren will, though.

how much does he want to stain his hands in order to protect his friend? how much can he stand it? the question is ringing in armin's mind as he folds the map as if that might give them a clue. it doesn't. but he's read so much over the years, mostly of biology and chemistry. some of that has to come in handy now, right? there's got to be something. )


We're going to...we should find someplace to sleep that isn't easily accessible. Maybe a tree, but that should be a last resort.

( he's trying hard to keep his voice steady, but it's still trembling and oddly raw from so much crying and screaming. armin is very clearly trying to keep a strong face for the both of them. he's not very good at hiding it right now. )

And...we're going to set a trap. With the rope you got in your pack.
unburdens: (rap guy's girlfriends)

jesus loves u

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-24 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
( armin's always spent a lot of time thinking about morality. they had a lot of intro to philosophy classes, and he was always pretty good at them. so there's some kind of cardinal rule, right: do not kill. but even in the law, there are factors that go into it. mitigating factors. constrained choices. he wants eren to get out of this alive. if he can get over the knee-jerk reaction of disgust...

but that's not something that most people can just turn off. it's something borne out of trauma, or something that people inherently have.

he swallows hard, his fists balling despite the dried blood caked on them. )


I'd rather not get caught by surprise again. We nearly died just now, because we weren't prepared.

( armin's words are strong, but his tone is uncertain. they're murderers. and he can think about moral relativism all he wants but the first instinct is to think of himself as a bad person. and that includes eren, too. neither of them are going to escape from this as innocents. it's only going to get much, much worse from here. )

A trap gives us some warning, at least. I just...I don't want to feel like prey. I don't want us to end up cornered like some wild animals.

( so they'll be the hunters, instead. it's just safer. more practical. thinking about practicalities is just easier at this point. )
unburdens: (it's like out there)

gay teenaged murderers what a time to be alive

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-24 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
( it's a good enough vantage point for them to consider setting up camp here. it had taken a while for them to get their traps all set up, armin kneeling against nearby trees to tie delicate knots that will go off with the addition of extra weight. knots meant to string people up by the ankle, hidden snares. he never really was one for the outdoors or anything before this, but armin's read a whole lot of books in his lifetime. and more importantly, he knows how to read people.

he's satisfied that these will at least give them some kind of warning. and if not, he's scattered brittle twigs and extra dry leaves in choice vulnerable areas. most people shouldn't be able to avoid them without making some sort of noise, right? they're dealing with high school children, not professional soldiers.

their classmates, a voice whispers at the back of his mind. when he's exhausted, it's easier for such thoughts to creep back from their banishment. )


No, I couldn't..

( but then, armin's sort of slumped over and he's already dozing off. his dreams are disturbing and filled with blood. he twitches and moans a lot in his sleep. but then, it's probably to be expected. )
unburdens: (JEAN. REINER. WHY AREN'T YOU)

[personal profile] unburdens 2014-02-26 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
( their lives were so mundane before this, so entirely regular, that armin has never had to be anything but soft and kind. there were bullies to contend with, academic pressures and the regular slate of teenaged problems, but he'd give almost anything to be able to go back to something like that. now he knows that even if they manage to get out of this, nothing will ever be the same.

but then, armin isn't putting too much hope in the both of them getting out of here. he's still got his own objective in mind, no matter how much eren might hate it. which is why he's almost angry at himself for falling asleep. he's not the one that's supposed to need it.

ultimately, it's a yell that jolts him awake. not the twigs snapping, but the noise of someone getting caught in the rudimentary trap that armin had set out, the rope tightening around the person's ankle given just the right amount of pressure. he wasn't sure if it would work. his knowledge of such things came from a deep understanding of physics and a few rudimentary glances at other books that he's not quite forgotten the contents of. but it does work, and when armin jolts awake, he rubs and his eyes and immediately feels a little sick.

his trap had worked. he hadn't wanted it to, hadn't wanted things to come down to this. but here they are, with one of their classmates struggling to try and free his leg from the knots. armin feels a little sick. )


Eren.

( he's trying to fight back the panic in his voice, but it's not working very well. )

What are we going to do?